Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Seriously, with friends like these who needs enemies?

Posted on: September 12, 2009

Seriously, with friends like these who needs enemies?
While watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta (guilty as charged) I was struck by how often these women referred to each other as friends yet never once acted like one.  Between online social networks and the keeping up with the Jones mentality, the word friend has lost is true meaning among so many people. Heck on Facebook, everyone who’ve ever met in your life is called your friend. What makes a person your true friend? That question may be easier answered by knowing who isn’t your friend.
The Fairweather Friend
“OMG, we so need to get together!” – This is the woman who consistently invites you to her showers, her weddings, her birthday parties and other random social events. You attend her gatherings, bring your gift and support her cause. Yet when you send her an invite to one of your parties she’s no where to be found. If you’re lucky she offers up an excuse as to why she’s M-I-A. Once you recognize you’ve got a Fairweather friend on your hands, take her for what she is and don’t feel obligated to show up to her events.
The Hater
I’ve had many a Hater friend, and initially she can be tough to spot since the reason you most likely became friends was because you had so much in common. Maybe you shared the same fashion sense, or you were both single and looking, or you lived in the same neighborhood. All of these reasons you had in common with her essentially make you her most fierce competitor. How do you she’s a hater and not a friend? Her support for you is next to nil. You get a new boyfriend, she’s angry with you. You buy a new pair of hot shoes, she buys the same pair. You redecorate your home, she has nothing to say about it. Whenever you find yourself being competing against by another woman it’s simply time to re-evaluate the friendship and let her go.
The Two-Facer
Sad to say, but it’s quite easy to spot this woman disguised as a friend. If she’s talking trash TO you about everyone you know….guess what? She’s talking trash ABOUT you to everyone you know. It’s that simple. Just keep your business to yourself, smile and nod as she goes on and on about everyone else and eventually she gets bored with you and moves on.
Unfortunately, these are just a few of the more damaging “friends” out there so it’s no wonder many women say they can’t be friends with other women. Yes, it can be hard to find a good girlfriend, sometimes even harder than a good man. I’ve truly been blessed to be surrounded by women in my life who I can call true friends. We make every effort to attend each other’s events, we support each other’s accomplishments, and we call each other Bitches as a term of endearment rather than behind each others backs. At the end of day, I know I can call on them to be there for me and they will show up.
We’ve all been in the situation where we thought a friend was truly a friend only to discover she was actually just a frenemy. Just like when you end a romantic relationship, you get up, dust yourself off and move on. But once you do find a true friend, you’ll be forever grateful, seriously.

While watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta (guilty as charged) I was struck by how often these women referred to each other as friends yet never once acted like one.  Between online social networks and the keeping up with the Jones mentality, the word friend has lost is true meaning among so many people. Heck on Facebook, everyone who’ve ever met in your life is called your friend. What makes a person your true friend? That question may be easier answered by knowing who isn’t your friend.

The Fairweather Friend
“OMG, we so need to get together!” – This is the woman who consistently invites you to her showers, her weddings, her birthday parties and other random social events. You attend her gatherings, bring your gift and support her cause. Yet when you send her an invite to one of your parties she’s no where to be found. If you’re lucky she offers up an excuse as to why she’s M-I-A. Once you recognize you’ve got a Fairweather friend on your hands, take her for what she is and don’t feel obligated to show up to her events.

The Hater
I’ve had many a Hater friend, and initially she can be tough to spot since the reason you most likely became friends was because you had so much in common. Maybe you shared the same fashion sense, or you were both single and looking, or you lived in the same neighborhood. All of these reasons you had in common with her essentially make you her most fierce competitor. How do you know she’s a hater and not a friend? Her support for you is next to nil. You get a new boyfriend, she’s angry with you. You buy a new pair of hot shoes, she buys the same pair. You redecorate your home, she has nothing to say about it. Whenever you find yourself being competed against by another woman it’s simply time to re-evaluate the friendship and let her go.

The Two-Facer
Sad to say, but it’s quite easy to spot this woman disguised as a friend. If she’s talking trash TO you about everyone you know….guess what? She’s talking trash ABOUT you to everyone you know. It’s that simple. Just keep your business to yourself, smile and nod as she goes on and on about everyone else and eventually she gets bored with you and moves on.

Unfortunately, these are just a few of the more damaging “friends” out there so it’s no wonder many women say they can’t be friends with other women. Yes, it can be hard to find a good girlfriend, sometimes even harder than a good man. I’ve truly been blessed to be surrounded by women in my life who I can call true friends. We make every effort to attend each other’s events, we support each other’s accomplishments, and we call each other Bitches as a term of endearment rather than behind each others backs. At the end of day, I know I can call on them to be there for me and they will show up.

We’ve all been in the situation where we thought a friend was truly a friend only to discover she was actually just a frenemy. Just like when you end a romantic relationship, you get up, dust yourself off and move on. But once you do find a true friend, you’ll be forever grateful, seriously.

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1 Response to "Seriously, with friends like these who needs enemies?"

Don’t be tardy for “her” party, but she ain’t coming to yours!
*******
I fly above the haters!
*******
But the frenemies are killers!

Very good insight Mika, that’s for the reminder!

Comments are closed.

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