Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Seriously, I am not your girlfriend!

Posted on: October 6, 2009

Throughout my life I’ve generally been more successful at having female friends rather than male ones. It frustrates me somewhat because I think having a guy friend to pal around with can be a lot of fun. They are able to offer a different perspective on dating, they can be great wingmen (if used properly), and who couldn’t use a dose of testosterone to help with the heavy lifting around the house. However, finding a true male friend tends to be the exception rather than the rule.

Over the course of my dating career, I’ve all too often been thrust into my own personal When Harry Met Sally plot line where someone’s hormones take over and alter the course of the friendship. Forget that you specifically discussed being nothing more than friends, yet someone ends up developing “romantic” feelings and changes everything. I’m not sure if it’s more difficult when the idea comes from me or him, but when I start seeing the below signs of a “change” in a male friend, I know things are about to get real sketchy.

  1. He wants to give me a pet name. Sweetie, lil bit, boo – you get the idea. Terms of endearments should be strictly reserved for your boyfriend. Hell, you don’t hear my girlfriends going “Hey Bunny Bear, want to go shoe shopping?”
  2. He pees on me. Careful now, I’m not referring to the sexual act that R Kelly took mainstream several years ago, but rather when a guy “marks” you as his territory when other males are around. The touching frequency increases, he’s doing more whispering in your ear than conversing, and he doesn’t offer to make a “planned exit” to allow a potential guy to swoop in. I usually know I’m in trouble when I hear my internal voice screaming silently to the room of men, “he’s not my boyfriend!”
  3. He sounds like a broken record. You both know you aren’t dating, yet he continues to passive aggressively remind you that you aren’t dating. I know he’s hoping I’ll go, “yeah, and why aren’t we?” But in my experience, when it does go to the next level there is rarely any talking involved until after a line has been crossed.

It always bittersweet when you find yourself in the situation where a male friend wants to be more. If you’re lucky, you feel the same way, however often times that is just not the case. You are flattered that he likes you, but you also know your friendship has now become a land mine of misconstrued comments, touches and looks that you must navigate without blowing you both up. It’s situations like these, where I think men should only be for dating unless of course they’re gay with a fabulous fashion sense. Seriously.

2 Responses to "Seriously, I am not your girlfriend!"

Maybe you should just stand on top of the bar with a mega phone and shout “HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND” that why there is no misunderstanding, only a whole lot of embarrassment!

Hey puddin…I had fun at the wine tasting tonight – go figure!

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Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?


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