Seriously? Is It Just Me…

I’m not a big fan of flying…I’m pretty certain it’s a control issue. So when I find myself sitting in an airport waiting for my flight to board, I tend to get anxious and uncomfortable. While I may not be a fan of flying, I am a fan of people watching or more like hot pilot scouting. Granted, they are few and far between but every once and a while I hit the jackpot. And when I do, I think damn I should date a pilot and here’s why:

1. Who doesn’t love a man in a uniform? It must be a woman thing, but there is just something about a good looking man in an uniform and this includes those guys who fly our friendly skies. Add his hat and sunglasses to the ensemble, and it’s enough to make you swoon.

2. You get to travel on the cheap. With an employee of the airlines, the family and friends discount makes your travel expenses seem insignificant. Australia, here I come.

3. Tips for joining the mile high club. While I’m still not sure what the point of trying to do it in an airplane bathroom is, especially when there’s not even enough room in there for me to do my business, but regardless it’s still something to brag about once you figure it out.

4. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sure, there’s the potential to lose your man while he’s off flying around the country. Thankfully, the hiring requirement for stewardesses is no longer young, attractive blonds. I’ll take my chances with the gay males and older ladies in their sensible shoes.

5. Bravery looks good on a man. Let’s face it, our friendly skies aren’t so friendly these days with crazy terrorists determined to kill us in the name of Allah. And let’s not even talk about flocks of birds, texting air traffic controllers, and spontaneous electrical storms that threaten to bring down a 400 ton mechanical bird. Getting a few hundred impatient people from one city to another safely takes some guts in my opinion.

Now, I just have to find me a pilot that’s single, attractive and willing to share his discount. I’m guessing I’ll need to lay off the Xanax next time I’m flying so I can at least be coherent enough to work my magic, seriously?