Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Posts Tagged ‘autumn

Women with falling leaves

See? Isn't this fun?

I love the fall, it’s actually my favorite time of the year. There is just something about the cool breezes and the emerging brown hues on the trees that makes my heart warm and giddy with anticipation. With the arrival of any season, you can’t help but sense the transformation of the landscape about to descend upon you. However the start of this fall season feels even more evident to me as it happens to coincide with a series of changes occurring in my own life.

When I was a young adult I loved change. In fact, I would continuously seek it out, whether it would be finding a new job for the summer, discovering new friends, or even just trying out a new hair style. The idea of something new to experience would create butterflies of excitement along with waves of hope that would wash over me as I looked forward to my future. I thought of myself as a young woman ready to take on the world — on my terms, of course.

And then I was forced to face a dramatic change that knocked me over so hard I wasn’t sure I would ever recover. I was 24 and thoroughly engrossed in the process of building the life of every young girl’s dreams. I was on the verge of marrying a good guy, focused on climbing my career ladder, and looking forward to starting a family. Just as they had told me, I was working hard to achieve my goals so that I could be rewarded accordingly.

Unfortunately, the man I chose wasn’t interested in building that life with me. Instead he left me heartbroken, bewildered and dumbfounded clutching on to the engagement ring that symbolized his broken promise of great changes never to come. At that moment, I found myself forced to transform my home, my heart and my future. In hindsight, my mistake was that instead of embracing this transition, I instead chose stagnation over risk, despair over hope, and anger over love. As a result, I resented change and since then avoided it at all costs.

As I find myself about to embark on this upcoming period of change, I’ve been reflecting back on the days when I thrived on it. And how now it feels more like a burden, a process that I must endure in order to settle back into a life without waves.

While change is never easy, it is inevitable. It happens whether you actively seek it out or whether it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. But more importantly, change is a good thing, a natural thing and a process that ensures that I continue to grow and become a wiser person with so much more to offer today than I did yesterday.

So as the fall season begins to change our surroundings and my life begins to experience some new found adjustments, I’m determined this time to dig deep inside and remember to embrace what life has to offer me. To once again thrive on the excitement and hope of the good that is yet to come…a season of change for the better. Seriously!

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Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?


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