Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Posts Tagged ‘cheating

You Go Girl!

While I was checking my Twitter feed the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that is was flooded with the news that Sandra Bullock had filed for divorce from her cheating husband and had adopted a baby boy. After reading up on the details, I sat back and thought “this woman ain’t playing”.

I’m sure everyone in America has heard about the recent cheating scandals of Tiger Woods and Jesse James. The fact that so many people care is another post, but without a doubt these were big entertainment news stories. Interestingly enough their respective wives each choose a different path when dealing with the multiple affairs of their husbands. Tiger Woods wife, Elin, decided to stay married, probably for the sake of the children (or the money) but regardless she is going to work on her marriage. Sandra Bullock, chose to ditch the cheating man and focus on her new baby. Granted, I haven’t walked a mile in either of these women’s shoes and honestly do not know what I would do in their situations, but I’m liking Sandra’s shoes.

As I think on what little I know about Sandra Bullock and her life, or rather what the media portrays of her life, I find myself inspired by her tenacity:

  1. She didn’t give up on finding love and got married for the first time when she was 40.
  2. She stayed focused on her career and after 15 years finally earned Oscar, SAG and Golden Globe awards.
  3. She was determined to start a family even if it meant adopting a baby instead of birthing one.
  4. She decided to file for divorce from her cheating husband who clearly had no respect for her or their marriage.

That takes guts…that takes a strong spirit…and that takes self confidence. While some of her risks didn’t pay off, she wasn’t afraid to go for what she wanted which ultimately meant learning from her mistakes and enjoying her rewards. So while I haven’t walked a mile in her shoes, she surely must inspire us girls to reach for our dreams and keep our heads held high even when we fall. I wonder if we could wear the same size shoe, seriously?

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I don’t know about you but I’m really tired of reading in the papers or on the Internet about another celebrity or political husband who has cheated on his wife…repeatedly. What I can’t come to terms with is if these recently reported rashes of infidelity are indicative of a national epidemic or just a few husbands who can’t keep their zippers shut.

Given the number of married men who have hit on me and my friends, I’m inclined to lean towards the position that the majority of married men are cheating. Of course, this doesn’t bode well for the single woman searching for someone to marry. The risks of staying married are great enough as they are, but adding to that the challenge of keeping your man faithful seems daunting. Here’s what I tell myself as a single woman witnessing the fall of marriages to infidelity:

1. Remember to keep yourself up. Of course, many a beautiful woman has been cheated on but getting hitched certainly doesn’t give me the license let myself go. As tempting as it is to adorn the frumpy lounge wear and never color my hair again, I must continue to keep myself in shape, made up and stylish. Oh and this goes both ways, no woman wants to come home to a beer bellied, hairy man every night.

2. Remember to do the do. Men love sex, and if I don’t want him to have sex with someone else, guess that means I’ve got to have sex with him. Despite my low libido (when this happens), it is as much my responsibility to engage in physical intimacy with him as it is his. If we skip the sex stuff, then I might as well get me a gay roommate. Now, if the pharmaceutical companies would help women out with a female Viagra, maybe we would have more satisfied married men.

3. Remember to stay interesting. Let’s face it, no one marries a boring and unhappy person hoping they will stay that way for life. I’ve got to keep my hobbies, my friends and my social calendar, otherwise I become that woman with nothing to do, no one to hang out with, and nowhere to go. Then what would we talk about…ourselves? Yawner.

Unfortunately, being single does attract all kinds of men including the married ones. Knowing what attracts them to me while I’m single will hopefully stick with me should I end up married. There are lots of beautiful, interesting and sexy single women out there mixing and mingling with the marrieds of the world. And if despite my efforts, the guy I marry still strays, then I guess I’ll just have to find me a gay roommate. Seriously.


Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?


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