Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Posts Tagged ‘dog

As part of my new A Seriously Series on Who Let The Dogs In, I wanted to explore the first item on my list that women should remember when they find themselves in a relationship with a man who treats them poorly.

1. He Can’t Be Fixed…by you.

Most of the readers of this blog know that my beloved family dog, Nash, passed away earlier this year. (Read about Nash) However, you may not know that I had my own dog whom I loved tremendously. Several years ago, a young man who was friends with my sister brought over the cutest little red ball of furry sweetness who had been abandoned by his owners. Instantly, I fell in love with him.

A Dog Named Chewie

Chewie during his happy times!

We called him Chewbacca, or Chewie for short, and boy did he live up to his name. From the moment he realized our apartment was his new home, he began chewing on everything. Throw pillows, screen doors, furniture and even a hundred dollar bill – yes he ate up hard earned cash. His favorite trick was to make a mad dash out the front door as soon as it was cracked open and taunt you as you tearfully begged him to come inside. He burped in your face, farted on your pillow and snored all night long. On more than one occasion throughout our relationship I had my hand on the phone ready to call the Humane Society to come pick him up. No matter how much I disciplined him, took him outside to play, or loved on him, he was not going to change his ways. He was who he was, and I loved him so I dealt with it.

Often I think we find themselves in a similar situation with a man we are dating. He’s absolutely adorable, has some wonderful qualities about him and makes for great companionship but there are things about him you wish you could change. Could be that he’s bad with money, and spends it quicker than it comes in. Or perhaps he likes to go out clubbing when you like to stay in and entertain. Maybe he’s not a big family guy but you want to spend quality time with yours every chance you can get.

In these cases, most women become frustrated with the relationship thinking that eventually he’ll change or grow out of his ways. They think I just need to make him see how great my family is, or show him how staying at home is just as fun as going out. Unfortunately, all that ends up happening is resentment on both your parts.

I believe it’s critical to search your soul for the character traits you desire in a man and the ones that are deal breakers before even getting into a serious relationship. If the man you end up with falls short then it’s not a good fit no matter how cute he is. If he drinks too much and gets nasty with you, then chances are no matter what you do, he isn’t going to stop without some serious help.

Eventually, I realized that Chewie was just as unhappy as I was in our situation. I was living in a small apartment, working long hours and he had no other animals to play with. I knew I had to save us both. Thankfully, a good friend of mine and her husband ended up adopting him and he simply flourished in their care. Although, I cried for days at the loss of my dog, I knew he was in a better place. He gained weight, had a friend to play with and a large yard to run in all day. He thrived and became the pet that I knew he could be, he just needed the right owners.

I think that we need to acknowledge that the man we are with is who is he, and maybe he’s simply not a good fit for you. Instead of trying to change him and making you both miserable, accept him for who he is or let him go. Yes, it will hurt for a while, but nothing compared to the pain of trying to make him into someone he was never meant to be.

Although Chewie was much happier with his new owners, he would make every effort to test their patience with his unbelievably frustrating jail break moments. He wouldn’t have been Chewie without bringing tears to your eyes, seriously!

P.S. Chewie passed away in early 2009. I imagine him and Nash eternally playing with each other in puppy Heaven.

Nash - Best Dog Ever

Nash - Best Dog Ever

You’re either a dog person or a cat person, or in some bizarre cases, neither. However, it only takes the right dog to change your life. That dog for me was Nash, my Mother’s Chow/Lab mix, who stole my heart the moment I met him. After 15 great years, he has gone on to hold us a spot in Heaven and I haven’t been able to stop the tears of sorrow. In fact, I don’t even remember crying this much over the loss of some boyfriends. Of course, this got me to pondering, how much better having a dog is than having a man.

1. He’s happy to see you EVERYDAY. It doesn’t matter if you come home early, late, looking a mess or overly stressed, your dog is eagerly waiting for you to arrive with his tail wagging so hard his butt moves from side to side. Of course, it’s probably more his version of the pee-pee dance, but I’m positive it’s done with nothing but love.

2. He’s a great listener. My Nash knew so many secrets about me from how I felt about a certain boy to what I hoped and wished for in my life, and he never said a word. If I needed to cry my eyes out in his fur, or dance around the house with him, he was always right there, silent but attentive.

3. He’s easy to please. If only it was as easy to please your man by taking him for walk in the park or a ride in the car. Just these simple acts would make your dog the happiest and most grateful creature in the world.

4. He can read moods. There is just something about a dog’s senses that make him able to read your mood without having to know what’s going on with you. There’s not “what’s wrong” or “did you have a bad day”, it’s just sensed. And the smart dogs, like Nash, knew to stay out of your way, get help, or be viligant without your saying one word. Plus, he was like a bad person detector, if you got no love from the dog, you were no good in our book, and he was always right.

5. No doubt that he loves you. Sure, a dog relies on you for food, water and some shelter but if you can at least provide this, then he’ll shower you with love. Throw some treats in there, and he’ll love you unconditionally.

Dogs are good for the soul, but great dogs leave a mark on it. Unfortunately, their life expectancy makes it difficult to find one for life, but for the time they are around it’s well worth it. They are not only man’s best friend, but also to a few single girls as well, seriously.


Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?


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