Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Posts Tagged ‘drinking

Halloween Pumpkin

Gimme Some Candy!

It’s certainly difficult to believe that another month from the year 2010 is almost over. With the approach of the cold winter months upon us and a time change that returns us back into darkness looming, you can’t help but anticipate the arrival of Halloween.

To be honest, I’ve always struggled internally with this spook-tacular holiday as it was a mere two days after my birthday and most people wanted to just make it a two-for-one celebration. I grew up believing my birthday was all about me (truth be told, still do), so sharing it with a holiday that focused on pumping out sweets to everyone who formed three little words made it feel…not so special. But it sure was fun!

While I’m no longer a big fan of holiday celebrations, the fact that one of the most controversial holiday’s high points, trick or treating, is dying a slow death has been weighing heavily on my mind. As I reminisce upon the Halloween’s of my childhood, I realized that long gone are the days:

  • when kids would dress up in a hand-made costume designed by a creative mom with very little extra spending money;
  • when no one thought twice about letting a group of 8-10 year olds in masks roam the streets after dark begging random strangers for candy, baked goods and sodas;
  • when everyone celebrated the holiday on the same day and afterwards we all retired to our homes high on sugar and fructose syrup without being paranoid that it would later give us some form of cancer.

Maybe it’s just me, but the biggest tradition of Halloween feels lost and instead we now have:

  • parents choice on when to take children trick or treating. I’m still waiting for someone to explain to me why the rest of us are expected to have enough candy for the weekend instead of just one night;
  • advertising directed at kids that suggests hand-made costumes are embarrassing and that Mommy should buy an expensive plastic one instead of using her creativity to make you an outfit;
  • to worry that the wares you so skillfully acquired during your trick or treating hour will apparently kill you and if not, at least stain your teeth badly.

Boo! No pun intended, but Halloween seems unfamiliar without the trick or treating. I’m sad for my nephew who may never truly know how much fun this holiday was when the world was not trying to harm you or make a profit off you.

I guess this Hallowed Eve is best left to the adults as we dress up in our most scantily clad outfits, throw back a few alcoholic beverages and wake up the next day actually feeling like a zombie instead of just playing one. Seriously?

Have a safe and fun Halloween! Boo Ya’ll!

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Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when a Saturday night out with a girlfriend was merely an excuse to go man hunting. We would get all dolled up in our sexiest clothes, the more you show the better your odds, and then teeter off to the newest hot spot in search of the “one” (because yes, he was in the clubs and bars despite what those old 30 plus year olds said).

Upon arrival, we would squeeze our way through the sea of people searching for the perfect bar seat that gave us the best opportunity to survey the crowd looking for hot guys. The added bonus, of course, would be people watching which was always one of our favorite past times. The rest of the evening would be spent scanning the room looking for a “sponsor” to buy us a drink and entertain us.

As I reflect back on those days of trying to snag a man, a hook-up or a friend, I’ve come to realize that I may have lost my dating mojo. I probably would be panicking right about now, if it were not for the fact that one of my girlfriends* has clearly lost hers too.

A few weeks ago, she and I made plans to actually get out of the house one Saturday night and decided to sashay over to a new bar in town. It turned out to be a really cool spot as we consumed fabulous cocktails, munched on yummy tapas, and chattered well into the evening.

I was in the middle of a story (which was funny, I’m sure) when I was approached by a slightly intoxicated guy so far from my type I wasn’t sure if he meant to talk to me or my girlfriend. Since I’m all for meeting new people, I politely engage in small talk before he asks if he could buy me a drink. Now, the younger me would have been all — “yes, I’d like another of what I’m having” because you never turn down free drinks, but instead I say, “no thanks, I have to drive home”. (More like I didn’t want to get a cab and potentially sleep on my friend’s bathroom floor.)

Thinking that would knock the wind out of his sails, I attempt to return back to my story, which I’m positive now was funny. However, that didn’t deter him as he proceeds to fill me in on his life details — in the music business, recently divorced, has an eight year old kid, and apparently likes his women of the chocolate variety (yes, he shared that with me).

So I’m nodding and smiling as I see my pursuer’s wingman, a rather short black man, make a beeline to my girlfriend. We had been tag teamed. Now, women with their dating mojo intact may have been all over this situation. Free drinks, musicians with connections (apparently Kid Rock and George Clintion, but no confirmation received), and no girl left behind to fend for herself. But not the two of us, instead in perfect unison as if part of a synchronized swim team, we both ask the bartender for our checks, insert laughter, leave our tips, insert hair flip, accept their numbers and then bolt for the door. Not a word exchanged between the two of us.

Clearly annoyed we stomp down to our cars when suddenly my friend busts out laughing. She points out that we both got hit on, ended up with phone numbers and we’re pissed off about it. I started feeling sad for us, but then I thought if they had been more our types that we would have stayed, drank and had a lovely time, but I the thing is I can’t say that for certain. Guess I need to go find my mojo, seriously?

* No names will be used…but she knows who she is.

For those who have read this blog know that my mother doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to fixing me up with men. Yet, I continue to let her set me up with what she considers a suitable mate for her daughter. After her last attempt with the cerebral palsy candidate, I had written my mother off as an acceptable matchmaker and refused to entertain any of her potential suitors. Until recently, when she timidly suggested that I give her another chance as she had found “the one” for me.

As she rattled off his stats, mid-30s, never married, no children, good job…I listened intently waiting for the catch. When none readily came (and I realized I hadn’t been on a date in months), I agreed to give her match a try. Honestly, at this point in my dating career, I shouldn’t pass up any opportunities whether from my mother or not. Given that I wasn’t interested in the standard blind date routine, and frankly I didn’t trust her selection, we decided to do a happy hour meet up.

As the date of the happy hour approached, my mother called to make sure we had a code determined for when she should gracefully make her exit, in the event that she was right and he was the one. After some debate, we decided that our code would be “Are you ready for the baby?” (My sister was pregnant and we both were trying to get used to the idea of a new member of our family, so it seemed fitting.) “Yes, I was ready” meant she needed to leave and “No, I wasn’t ready” meant we both needed to bounce as soon as humanly possible.

After a long day at work, I headed out to meet my mother and her friend for drinks at a local restaurant. Once all the pleasantries had been exchanged, drinks ordered, and he and I had sized each other up physically, she looks at me and says “are you ready for the baby”? Are you kidding me? I just sat down and haven’t even had a chance to talk to the guy and she’s ready to leave me high and dry. (Not the best wingman I’ve ever had.) Considering how I hadn’t been able to draw any conclusions about the guy, all I could say was “I don’t know yet”. So much for the code word.

After a few drinks and appetizers, we were all talking, laughing and having a good time, and then suddenly (yes, at this moment) it dawned on me what I had done to myself. I was on a blind date with my mother! Honestly at this point, I’m not sure which one of us is more desperate to find me a husband, considering how we both thought it was acceptable to subject some poor guy to a mother-daughter date night, seriously?

Throughout my single girlhood adventure I’ve had the privilege of being set up on numerous blind dates. (Blind dates meaning you, and only you, meeting a complete stranger for a date because someone thought you would be a good match.) In fact, many of my dating horror stories are inspired by this infamous dating scenario. Interestingly enough these dates have become a walk in the park for me…thanks of course to all my years of practice. So how does one survive the awkwardness that blind dates always seem to bring about?

Read the rest of this entry »

There’s nothing worse than the surprise run in with an ex, well maybe there are a few things worse, but the shock and anxiety that hits you when you see an ex-lover, boyfriend or friend ranks pretty high up there. I think what makes it so bad is that it’s always when you least expect it and you feel blindsided.
There you are having a cocktail with a friend, laughing and joking, feeling like your life is full of meaning and purpose then – BAM – out of the corner of your eye, you spot that old familiar face. Wind starts rushing  in your ears, you no longer hear your friends voice, and you experience time travel  first hand as you are jolted back to the days of yore. If you happen to make it back to the present, the next step is the most critical. I’ve personally done each of the following:
a. Run and Hide – my personal favorite since I love to avoid conflict at any cost.
b. The Glamour Shot – check my make up, fix my hair, turn, smile and do the beauty queen wave. Then Run and Hide.
c. Grow a Quick Pair – Got up, went over and said hello along with a oh so casual “you look great”.  I kept the conversation short so as not to look like I gave a damn, which of course I did.
But seriously, here’s what I know. When you find yourself in the same space as the person you once loved as much as yourself and you start to taste the bile in your mouth, chances are you didn’t handle the dissolution of the relationship all that well. If this is the case, just do point A, and then go home and figure out why the pain is still so fresh. Gotta love personal growth – that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Seriously!

There’s nothing worse than the surprise run in with an ex, well maybe there are a few things worse, but the shock and anxiety that hits you when you see an ex-lover, boyfriend or friend ranks pretty high up there. I think what makes it so bad is that it’s always when you least expect it and you feel blindsided.

There you are having a cocktail with a friend, laughing and joking, feeling like your life is full of meaning and purpose then – BAM – out of the corner of your eye, you spot that old familiar face. Wind starts rushing in your ears, you no longer hear your friends voice, and you experience time travel first hand as you are jolted back to the days of yore. If you happen to make it back to the present, the next step is the most critical. I’ve personally done each of the following:

a. Run and Hide – my personal favorite since I love to avoid conflict at any cost.

b. The Glamour Shot – check my make up, fix my hair, turn, smile and do the beauty queen wave. Then Run and Hide.

c. Grow a Quick Pair – Get up, go over and say hello along with an oh so casual “you look great”.  I kept the conversation short so as not to look like I gave a damn, which of course I did.

But seriously, here’s what I know. When you find yourself in the same space as the person you once loved as much as yourself and you start to taste the bile in your mouth, chances are you didn’t handle the dissolution of the relationship all that well. If this is the case, just do point A, and then go home and figure out why the pain is still so fresh. Gotta love personal growth – that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Seriously!

Wow, I just attended the type of event that is perfect for single men and women! I’m talking the most beautiful singles from my city…dressed in their best party clothes (yes, even the boys wore jackets and got their hair did) with great food, cocktails, and music. It was like going to a buffet of single business professionals, musicians and athletes ranging from 20 – 50 plus years old. But it fell flat…why oh why?

1. It was on a school night. Most professionals I know have to go to work the next day, so hanging out all night waiting for every one else’s liquid courage to kick in can be tough. Give us a Friday night, I think all hell would have broken loose.

2. There was nothing to bond over. Everyone kept asking each other, is this it? Initially I was excited to hear that they were auctioning off 20 profiled singles, but it turned out to be a silent auction. Boo! How fun would it have been to watch everyone bid on these people while we made fun of the low bids and giggled like school girls over the hot ones?

3. Several “singles” brought dates…or maybe just wing-men/women but they acted like a couple. I mean come on, it’s hard enough to mix and mingle at this type of event without having to ask yourself, is he really single? I’m still perplexed as to why you would “c—block” yourself at an event dedicated to hooking people up. For goodness sakes, at least have the decency to leave your girlfriend at home.

4. Too many exes. Yes, we live in a relatively big city, but without a doubt you will run into some exes at this type of event – ex-co-workers, ex-dates, ex-boyfriends. It’s a little weird hooking yourself up with all your exes looking on…and yeah, I got to experience that situation. Ouch!

5. People were getting hooked up who weren’t even there…WTF? I met this cute girl who literally gave a guy her friends number – and her friend wasn’t even at the event. Hey, you must be present to win! This girl got hooked up while sitting at home in her jammies watching American Idol. Um, not fair!

The potential was clearly there, but most of the guests expressed frustration with the event designed to hook the singles in our city up. Hey, at least I know that there are some good looking single men in my backyard. Who knows, if the above wasn’t true maybe I would have bid on a guy or two if I’d had the liquid courage and the rest of the group cheering me on…seriously.

  • In: The Art of Dating
  • Comments Off on Seriously, we’re broadcasting our relationship status now?

So this past Friday night, I made the effort to pull myself off my couch (mainly because Ghost Whisperer was a rerun) and went out to meet up with some friends at a bar downtown. No thrills event, just some cocktails and conversation. I bebop down to the bar, meet up with my group and order a drink. I didn’t really “know” know some of the people in the group, so as I was talking to two of the other girls, we discovered we were all single. So we started chatting about the qualms of dating in our city and our struggles to find the one. As we were sharing our horror stories, in between glancing around the room hoping to see a guy vaguely interesting to look at, we hear a commotion going on over at the bar. Apparently, a group of women had assembled themselves in two lines to take a group picture. As they got ready to snap the picture, one of them shouts “Single”. Then another joined in “We’re single”, then another one “Single Girls!” The three of us just looked at each other with stunned faces. We have to broadcast it now. Seriously?


Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?


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