Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Posts Tagged ‘mother


Cuddly as a Cactus

For the past few years, I’ve made it a habit to change my Instant Messenger avatar to the Grinch as my way of letting the world know how I truly feel about the holiday season. I have several reasons for dreading the month of December which thankfully isn’t the purpose of this post. However, despite my desire to remain cuddly as a cactus until the new year, I do find myself enjoying a few Christmas traditions.

One of those traditions is watching at least one variation of A Christmas Carol. While the original is a great version, I actually enjoy the knock offs more (who would ever have thought I would recommend a knock off of anything). One in particular is Ebbie, played by the Daytime Emmy snubbed Susan Lucci, as she works her way up the department store career ladder to find herself bitter, alone and…well a scrooge. Despite how poorly acted, written and shot this adaption of A Christmas Carol is, I always settle in to watch it, at least up until the part when Tiny Tim begins singing a painful version of “Angels We Have Heard on High”.

So why do I eagerly await the showing of this classic christmas tale? Well, because of the moral. At the end, when the Scrooge character wakes up full of the Christmas spirit, and realizes that he or she should have been giving not taking, that life is too short for frugality and resentment, and that this is the time of the year to spend with your family and friends, I can’t help but get teary-eyed. I hate to say this, but I am a little like Scrooge. I don’t enjoy this time of year, but after watching that movie I remember that being surrounded by people I love and who love me is a blessing.

This past weekend was another one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season; my girlfriends’ annual holiday party. We eat, drink fancy cocktails, and laugh so hard we shed tears. I wish I could tell you exactly what is so funny, or why such an electic group of women have so much fun together, but in my heart I know it’s simply the bond of friendship. Thinking back on the year my friends endured, I realized that:

  • One of us became a mother;
  • Another lost a very important person in her life;
  • A few of us struggled to find good jobs in a tough economy;
  • Two of us worked hard to raise beautiful and smart daughters;
  • Half of us fought to maintain a healthy relationship with our mothers;
  • Some of us endured a lonely night or two in search of the one;
  • And all of us were there for each other through it all.

So this holiday season I’m going to remember to smile a bit more as I cherish the times I spend with those I love and thank God for truly blessing us, every one. Seriously!

Smerry Christmas Ladies!

8 days of christmas

Our version of a friend contract!

For those who have read this blog know that my mother doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to fixing me up with men. Yet, I continue to let her set me up with what she considers a suitable mate for her daughter. After her last attempt with the cerebral palsy candidate, I had written my mother off as an acceptable matchmaker and refused to entertain any of her potential suitors. Until recently, when she timidly suggested that I give her another chance as she had found “the one” for me.

As she rattled off his stats, mid-30s, never married, no children, good job…I listened intently waiting for the catch. When none readily came (and I realized I hadn’t been on a date in months), I agreed to give her match a try. Honestly, at this point in my dating career, I shouldn’t pass up any opportunities whether from my mother or not. Given that I wasn’t interested in the standard blind date routine, and frankly I didn’t trust her selection, we decided to do a happy hour meet up.

As the date of the happy hour approached, my mother called to make sure we had a code determined for when she should gracefully make her exit, in the event that she was right and he was the one. After some debate, we decided that our code would be “Are you ready for the baby?” (My sister was pregnant and we both were trying to get used to the idea of a new member of our family, so it seemed fitting.) “Yes, I was ready” meant she needed to leave and “No, I wasn’t ready” meant we both needed to bounce as soon as humanly possible.

After a long day at work, I headed out to meet my mother and her friend for drinks at a local restaurant. Once all the pleasantries had been exchanged, drinks ordered, and he and I had sized each other up physically, she looks at me and says “are you ready for the baby”? Are you kidding me? I just sat down and haven’t even had a chance to talk to the guy and she’s ready to leave me high and dry. (Not the best wingman I’ve ever had.) Considering how I hadn’t been able to draw any conclusions about the guy, all I could say was “I don’t know yet”. So much for the code word.

After a few drinks and appetizers, we were all talking, laughing and having a good time, and then suddenly (yes, at this moment) it dawned on me what I had done to myself. I was on a blind date with my mother! Honestly at this point, I’m not sure which one of us is more desperate to find me a husband, considering how we both thought it was acceptable to subject some poor guy to a mother-daughter date night, seriously?

This is what a real Cougar looks like!

A Real Cougar!

Television can do a lot for those of us living single. It can bring to light our struggles so that others can feel our pain, sympathize with us or in most cases make fun of our plight. Well, apparently the broadcasting industry has recognized that it’s now time for the life of a Cougar to go mainstream. For those of you who think I’m referring to the Animal Channel and their documentaries on large cats, then let me update you. A Cougar is the nickname for an older woman who dates men at least 8 years her junior typically in their 20s. Hence, the new show called Cougartown.

Read the rest of this entry »

A couple of months ago I started dating a man that had two boys that lived with him most of the time – and most of you know, I am not a KID person – so this was a stretch for me. The first time I went to his house for a romantic dinner it turned into a nightmare. The kids were suddenly dropped off by their mother 5 minutes before I arrived – found that out when I rang the doorbell. I told him that I could leave and we could do this another night – but he said “well you have to meet them eventually”. I went in smiling – BIG MISTAKE.

The boys Five & Eight were WILD – and I know I am not use to boys, but they were literally running around the house – hitting each other – one even head-butted me in the stomach (and like an idiot I just kept smiling – oh how I TRIED). After a very long dinner – where the 5 year old got under the table and hit me on the shin, I was going to feign a headache and leave – but the 8 year old was beginning to grow on me and asked if I wanted to play a game. Again, I stupidly said YES.

Well we played the game SORRY – been a while but you can basically screw your opponent over and send them back to homebase. Keep in mind that I am not the type of person to let kids win – just because they are kids – and I was kicking their little butts! The 5 year old got under the table again after I kept beating him and refused to play anymore – I was sure he was going to bite me or something. The 8 year old thought that beating his little brother was the funniest thing until I started beating him too. I immediately sent two of his pieces back and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “I don’t like you and don’t want you to be my mom” – HOLY COW – I calmly replied, “I don’t want to be your mother, I just want to beat you at SORRY and I guess I am getting what I want”. Meanwhile, my date was mortified (as he should be).  We broke up shortly after this evening.

I guess this just reiterates the facts that kids are just not my thing…unless it is my own….SERIOUSLY!

It has been a critical mission of my mother’s lately to find me a husband, and no we aren’t Jewish. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate her efforts since she managed to set my sister up with her husband. However it’s always been tough for me to accept her potential matches as she uses a much different set of standards than I do. Sure, we have different tastes in looks, educational level required, and sexual orientation status (my preference being straight), but some times I take the bait and accept her picks. But clearly, even she is struggling lately in her quest to “hook me” up as her most recent pick had me questioning just how desperate she had become. During a recent phone call, she said very casually “Oh, I found a man for you. He is sooo nice and very friendly… the only thing is, he kind of drools…because of his cerebral palsy.”

Mother! Seriously?

and this is why…they do nothing but tell you how pretty, how special you are and how much they love you all the time….and they want absolutely nothing from you….but maybe a little kiss now and then!  They will take you to fabulous parties, they love to go shopping with you and they always smell GREAT! 

The best part is…you can talk about hot guys – the couple that plays together, stays together! 

I keep asking my best gay boyfriend to marry me…I think he might eventually relent (at least to keep his mother happy)….I might be happier with him….SERIOUSLY!

Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?

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