Seriously? Is It Just Me…

Posts Tagged ‘shoes

This past week, I was in the fabulous city of Chicago attending a compensation event sponsored by my former/new employer, Bank Director magazine. My job was to blog and tweet on the various sessions, record a few video interviews, and conduct some low level market research on the use of smart phones in the banking industry. I know, sounds like a ton of fun, but I have to admit that I did learn a lot which I know will make my banker friends proud.

Of course, one can not fly the hour and a half to Chicago, stay in a four star hotel on Michigan avenue, and find themselves with a few hours to spare without doing some shopping. Oh, I was just giddy with excitement at the possibility of walking up and down the Magnificent Mile visiting my favorite stores including Aldo, Coach, and Burberry.”

Unfortunately, the shopping gods were not smiling on me this brisk November afternoon, as I was having no luck falling in love with that must have item (sounds a lot like my love life, maybe my ticker is broken). Nonetheless, I pressed on with my co-worker, who by the way was walking out of every store with an adorable handbag, before hitting our last stop, the go to store for all things shoes — MACYS!

As I was circling the tables loaded with the season’s latest open-toed boots and stiletto heels, I found myself face to face with a middle-aged black man who had apparently just bounced off the escalator. “Hey there”, he starts as I try to move past him. “You’re the size that I wish my fiance was.” I freeze in my tracks as I brace myself for the conversation that had nowhere to go but down from there. With a quizzical look on my face, all I could manage to do was nod once and raise my eyebrows in anticipation.

question marks

Seriously Confused!

Ignoring my look of concern, he continues. “We just got engaged and I told her I was going to have a hard time carrying her across the threshold.” He snickers as my look goes from concern to mortified. But he continues, “she’s about 40 pounds heavier than you, and she complains that I just want her to be the fun size”. At that point, it was very clear that this guy was full of nonsense. The fun size? I immediately turn around and walk off in the other direction never once uttering a single word at this guys ridiculous attempt at…what?

As I began checking out the sales rack, I wondered what was his motivation for those bizarre comments. Was he trying to compliment me by acknowledging that I had a nice figure, which seems odd to me since I have nothing in the way of curves? Was he trying to hit on me, but why start off acknowledging that he had a fiance? Was he trying to make fun of me by using his girlfriends snide remarks about skinny girls?

Just as I was giving up on my shoe search, I came to the conclusion that he was just an idiot who had suckered some poor girl into marrying him and she had no idea he was talking badly about her to other women. Mystery solved. Now if I could just find a pair of fun shoes in my size, seriously?


I love clothes. Although, I love shoes and purses more, I’m still all about having a good fashion sense. If I didn’t have to pay for a roof over my head, heat and food, I would probably wear the latest designer labels, own more than just my burberry and coach bags, and create my own slice of heaven with a walk-in shoe closet.

I understand and respect that most people do not share my love of fashion. Not everyone comes from a line of women who consider shopping a sport or own so many articles of clothing that they never wear the same thing twice. However, I do believe that every woman should embrace a personal style and dress nicely where appropriate. Contrary to what people think it does not take a lot of money to have a sense of style and the capability to dress up. (TJMaxx and friends.)

As I move about in today’s society, particularly in this country, I can’t help but notice the lack of style and fashion sense. When I was growing up, which despite my perception wasn’t that long ago, people would get dolled up when they traveled on an airplane, went to see a play or ballet, and without question, on a job interview. Yes, the days of business suits are long gone but come on people, crocs and oversized jeans is not business casual. So for those who think that dressing nicely is an act of vanity and an unnecessary evil, let me share some thoughts with you on why dressing for the occasion is in your best interest:

1. Boosts your self confidence. Yes, sweat pants are comfortable but they were made for working out, not to wear to dinner, work or church. Try and remember the last time you put on a new outfit that fit like glove? Nothing gives you a shot of confidence like doning a well put together outfit. When it fits, matches and is stylish, you feel good about yourself and everyone else can see it.

2. Gains respect and admiration. Unfortunately, people do judge a book by it’s cover and first impressions count. Looking nice and put together let’s others know that you care about yourself and have a good sense of self worth. If you’re in a position of power, trying to bring in sales, or need to connect with other people, then schlepping around in an ill-fitted, age inappropriate or out of date outfit isn’t going to help your cause. At least put on an outfit that fits your body type.

3. Outlet for expressing yourself. I realize this is the stumbling block for most people. You don’t know what looks good, but frankly not trying looks even worse. With all the fashion shows on television now, I’m sure you can find a look that expresses your sense of style. Are you a classic, hippy or trendsetter? Everyone has got a style about them, and clothes are one of the best ways to express who you are as a person.

It just doesn’t make sense for grown women to be paying so little attention to themselves and their appearance. When the occasion calls for some respect and appreciation, please put on a dress instead of a pair of old jeans, pull on a pair of sandals instead of your beach flip flops, and apply some make up to brighten up your face. I bet with just little more effort, you’ll discover that you see a few more head turns your way, walk a little bit taller and feel a bit better about yourself, seriously?

You Go Girl!

While I was checking my Twitter feed the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that is was flooded with the news that Sandra Bullock had filed for divorce from her cheating husband and had adopted a baby boy. After reading up on the details, I sat back and thought “this woman ain’t playing”.

I’m sure everyone in America has heard about the recent cheating scandals of Tiger Woods and Jesse James. The fact that so many people care is another post, but without a doubt these were big entertainment news stories. Interestingly enough their respective wives each choose a different path when dealing with the multiple affairs of their husbands. Tiger Woods wife, Elin, decided to stay married, probably for the sake of the children (or the money) but regardless she is going to work on her marriage. Sandra Bullock, chose to ditch the cheating man and focus on her new baby. Granted, I haven’t walked a mile in either of these women’s shoes and honestly do not know what I would do in their situations, but I’m liking Sandra’s shoes.

As I think on what little I know about Sandra Bullock and her life, or rather what the media portrays of her life, I find myself inspired by her tenacity:

  1. She didn’t give up on finding love and got married for the first time when she was 40.
  2. She stayed focused on her career and after 15 years finally earned Oscar, SAG and Golden Globe awards.
  3. She was determined to start a family even if it meant adopting a baby instead of birthing one.
  4. She decided to file for divorce from her cheating husband who clearly had no respect for her or their marriage.

That takes guts…that takes a strong spirit…and that takes self confidence. While some of her risks didn’t pay off, she wasn’t afraid to go for what she wanted which ultimately meant learning from her mistakes and enjoying her rewards. So while I haven’t walked a mile in her shoes, she surely must inspire us girls to reach for our dreams and keep our heads held high even when we fall. I wonder if we could wear the same size shoe, seriously?

I’ll tell you what, this whole aging process is quite bizarre. When I was just a wee lass, I could not even imagine who I would be, what I would look like or what I would be doing in the year 2010, and lo and behold it’s here. I vividly remember writing my new year’s post last year, as I reflected on the lessons I learned in 2008 (flashback post). However, instead of looking back this time, I’ve been thinking through a few things that I’m looking forward to this year:

1. Meeting my nephew.
Yes, yes ya’ll. I’m going to be an Aunt to a very handsome little boy. And if the next 20 years of my life fly by as quickly as the past ones have, I suspect I’ll be beating a few hoochies off my nephew and probably a cougar or two before I know it.

2. Visiting a new country.
I’m still on the fence (sorry, Mother) about an upcoming trip to Africa this year. While I think this will be the most interesting place I’ve ever traveled to, I’m a little uncomfortable about the level of security in Kenya. Nonetheless, when I get over my apprehension, I hope to visit the Motherland and explore some of her spectacular landscapes. Look for pictures later this summer.

3. Getting more readers for my blog.
I’m going to need your help on this one. Tell your mamas, tell your friends, tell your friend’s mamas about my blog. I would love to increase my readership and continue passing on my pebbles of insight into a modern single girl’s life.

4. Finding the man of my dreams.
Hell, I hope for this every year. Who knows, maybe this year I’ll get lucky. Fingers crossed everyone.

5. Wearing my new hot boots from NYC.
I had the incredible opportunity to spend New Year’s Eve in New York City’s Times Square when the new decade surfaced, and as a gift for standing in the cold and rain to ring in the new year I went shopping. Of course, I bought some new boots that I can’t wait to wear this year…or should I say this month. I’m pretty sure I’ll be sick of them before Presidents Day, just in time for a Valentines gift to me from me with love.

I don’t know about you, but there is something about a new year that makes me so excited about life. New opportunities, new relationships and new adventures are just around the corner. Here’s to a prosperous and wild 2010, seriously!!

Happy New Year!

Santa's Mailbox

Hook Me Up, Santa!

Dear Santa:

At some point this year, I’m secretly hoping that your laptop (just like so many others) probably caught a nasty Facebook virus which corrupted all your files, so you may have little to no record of my actual behavior this year. In my opinion, I was relatively nice but I’m sure your methods of measurement may be significantly different than mine. Have you every thought about grading on a curve? In the event that I was more naughty than either of us remember I’ll keep it short. All I want this year for Christmas is:

  • A facelift soap that not only cleanses but removes those pesky aging marks as soon as you rinse it off. This will significantly shorten my morning/evening ritual of applying facial lotions and creams in hopes of perserving what’s left of my youthfulness.
  • A Staples “Easy” button for those days I can’t get it together and don’t have a prayer in the world of doing so in a reasonable about of time.
  • A real life Ken doll without the fused private parts, of course. Depending on my mood in 2010, I may ask for a brain for him next Christmas.
  • Frankly, any pair of Christian Louboutin heels. Oh, and a place for me and Ken to go so I can show them off.

Hopefully, you have my address saved in your GPS, so feel free to leave the gifts at the foot of the fireplace since I don’t have a Christmas tree. The glass of wine and cheese plate is for you, take as much as you want. Shoot me a text message if you any questions.

With much appreciation,

Yours Truly

P.S. – Despite what the CBS Cares public service announcement team seems to think, I do not in any way, shape or form want a Pap Smear for Christmas. Seriously?

Over the years, I’ve had many an older woman compliment me on my fashionable shoes only to then tell me they can no longer wear high heels because of back problems. I smile politely and sashay on by thankful that I’m not too old to still wear my stilettos.

However, just recently, my monthly allotted shoe purchase happened to be a pair of black studded heels clearly designed to show off rather than provide any function whatsoever. Very hot yet very impractical – or as I call them “show shoes”.

A few days later, as I darted off to work in my new fancy barbie doll heels, I realized instantly that I had made a terrible mistake. Not only were my feet in pain but my lower back was hurting. OMG! My heels had finally turned on me! Throughout the day, I gingerly walked around the office wincing in pain and forcing myself to not show defeat by taking them off until I got home.

As I worked to control my panic of possibly losing the opportunity to wear my heels it dawned on me, my back wasn’t hurting from my heels, it was hurting from my vigorous yoga workout the day before. Yep, that has to be it! I’m getting too old for exercise not my impractical 4-inch high heels. Seriously?

Massaging Hands

I wish I was where she is...

It is very disheartening when I hear women tell me that they can’t remember the last time they did something nice for themselves. This sad admission is usually revealed during a conversation we are having about my latest designer purse purchase, new “fun” toenail color, or whether I refer a male or female massage therapist. I freely admit that I show myself lots of love and it’s not a result of being high maintenance. Not only is it shameful, but it’s stupid and sad that more women don’t find the time to pamper themselves. It’s really not that hard, just follow these tips:

Read the rest of this entry »

Soapbox Diaries from an Unplanned Single Life!

I hope you enjoy the random thoughts, observations and life lessons that I've learned along the way. It's called Seriously? because some days I just shake my head and say seriously, is this my life?

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